User:The Other Jared/April Fools 2022

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This is a workshop and archive for a 2022 april fools prank.

14.0.0[edit]

SSBU|14.0.0}}[edit]

This update was released on April 1st, 2022 (April 2nd in some time zones).

  • General
    • The following content is now available for purchase and download:
      • Challenger Pack 13
      • Spirits: Booty Jams
      • Mage Robe
      • Fancy Suit
      • Neon Suit
      • Birthday Suit
      • Samurai Helmet + Armor
      • Wedding Veil
    • Kirby has been given a new copy ability in which he gains a diagnosis for pica.
    • The Techniques menu has been updated with 0 new sections
    • A new Smash Tag icon have been added: Small molecule assisted shutdown
    • Pressing the minus button at any point during gameplay replaces the player with a CPU player. Pressing the button again regains control.
    • The game has been re-rated by the ESRB to be Adults Only (AO) due to Shared Content.
    • The universal controller input delay has been reduced to -4 frames. The game is now so fast that it shows the future.
    • All menus can now be navigated with touch controls while in handheld mode.
    • All stages now have a hazardless mode that can be toggled at the stage select screen.
    • Automatically selecting a certain costume when selecting a fighter is now tied to names.
    • All content included in the base game at launch is now unlocked because three whole years is still not enough time for some people.
    • Launch Rate Handicap has been added as an option in making rules. It works identically to Damage Handicap, except for the launch rate.
    • Players now have the option to roll the game back to any previous version if they wish to do so. All games must be on the same version for local multiplayer and online modes can only be accessed with the latest version.
  • Offline
    • The following spirits will appear in the Shop on the Vault menu:
    • The new CPU level 10 has been added. This level is based around an artificial intelligence that analyzes Elite Smash for the most optimal, human-like playstyle. This AI is constantly updated as more games are played and is adjusted every day and/or every time the player's Switch is connected to the internet.
    • Custom Balance is now tied to names instead of fighters.
    • Boss Battles Mode has been added to the Games & More section. All boss battles can now be played at any time outside of Classic Mode and World of Light.
    • Sights has been added to the Vault section. Every model and animation is viewable in this mode, including a fully unlocked camera for exploring stages.
    • Fixed the Final Smash Camera Glitch.
    • Special Smash:
      • Head:
        • Players can now use a combination of multiple options.
      • Body:
        • Players can now use a combination of multiple options.
      • Status:
        • Players can now use a combination of multiple options.
      • Camera:
        • Players can manually adjust the camera in the Angled option.
    • Training Mode:
      • The platforms now have new models to look more 3D. This applies to Quickplay training stage too.
      • All hitboxes are now viewable.
      • Dummies can now be programmed to perform certain attack strings and have specific responses to certain actions.
      • Every move in the game is available in the move list, complete with startup, active, and cooldown frames as well as frame advantage and other character specific details.
      • Doc Louis will be there. He will stand behind you and eat chocolate as a cruel reminder that you have no chocolate.
      • Up to 4 players can be in training mode at the same time.
    • The Tharja spirit has been adjusted to now show her beautiful feet and juicy thighs.
    • Players can now save multiple videos in Video Editor.
    • Sounds:
    • All trailers, commercials and other miscellaneous media for the Smash series have been added to the Movies section.
    • VR:
      • All stages, items, final smashes, and the full rules list are now available.
      • Player can now use VR in local multiplayer matches.
      • The Nintendo Switch now runs Ultimate at 90 frames per second in VR mode.
      • A new warning will pop up after calibrating. It says "What the hell are you doing? The Switch can't handle frame rates this high. Get this away from your face right now before it explodes and blinds you."
    • While hovering over the "Back to Rules" button on the Character Select Screen, a tooltip of the current ruleset will pop to check if there is a need to go back and not waste time.
    • Options:
      • Smash:
        • The ability to have a fixed camera has been moved from Special Smash to here. Players can choose where the camera should be locked and how zoomed in it can be to help those that are susceptible to motion sickness.
      • Sound:
        • An audio description option has been added. The announcer will read out the menu item being hovered on as an aid for the visually impaired. The recordings get progressively more tired and hoarse as the announcers were forced to do multiple takes of all options in multiple contexts in one day without stopping.
      • Controls:
        • Pressing the control stick is now an option for button mapping. Only available for controllers that support stick pressing.
        • Shaking the controller is now an option for button mapping if you are one of those people.
        • A pre-built button layout that only requires one hand is now an option for those that can only use one hand. Neutral, tilt and smash attacks are tied to tilting the control stick in a direction and pressing the stick at the same time. Special moves are tied to the L/R button, shielding is tied to the ZL/ZR button, pausing it tied to the +/- button, and taunting is tied to the face buttons.
        • Arcade controllers and keyboards are now officially supported as controller options.
        • The game now interacts with an updated Smash Controller app to make the Nintendo 3DS an official controller option. Get it before we shut down the eShop and take the app away for no real reason. Also, pretty please don't pirate it.
      • Brightness has been renamed to Graphics. Brightness is now a portion of this new menu along with several new additions.
        • Subtitles can now be toggled in white or black font.
        • The visuals can be recolored to best aid players with colorblindness. Has options for deuteranomaly, protanomaly, and tritanomaly. There can also be three sliders that adjust the amount of red, blue, and green on the screen.
        • A new contrast mode has been added where the entire screen is grayscaled except for objects of interest like players, items, and stage hazards. Said objects can remain unaltered, have a thick outline around them reminiscent of Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS, or be one solid color based on teams.
        • The game can now be played in multiple aspect ratios to best fit the monitor being used in docked mode: 16:9 widescreen, 4:3 fullscreen, and 21:9 ultra-widescreen. These changes do not affect gameplay, but UI elements are adjusted to accommodate for the different layouts.
        • All visual effects can now be turned off for the boring, whiny curmudgeons that find particle effects distracting.
        • A deflicker slider has been added. increasing the slider will gradually blur the image to make it less jagged.
        • The position and size of the in-game UI can be adjusted
        • The camera can swap between to modes: "standard" and "static". Static mode stays in one position.
      • Language:
        • Portuguese, Leonese, Romulan and Hindi are now supported languages.
        • For languages that have differences between NTSC and PAL releases, all versions are now available for all copies. PAL versions are referred to as Bri'ish, Frog, and Ethpañol.
        • Players can now adjust the language of the text, announcer, and every individual character that can speak multiple languages should they choose to.
      • Online:
        • Players now have the option to manually introduce a certain amount of rollback frames when playing online to ensure as smooth of an experience as possible.
        • Players can now earn titles by completing certain achievements that can be displayed on their smash tag. Three tags will be given immediately, Total Scrub to all players, Tier Whore to all players in elite smash, and The Chosen One to the one player that has never experienced connection issues.
  • Online:
    • The Online mode has been completely reworked:
      • Quickplay now serves as a non-ranked mode where players dive in and play as many games as they want with any rules for fun. Global Smash Power is no longer affected by this mode.
      • A new mode called Ranked Play has been added. This mode features no items, three stocks and a seven-minute timer with stage hazards turned off by default and is meant for serious competitors for glory. This mode is affected by GSP, and Co-op and Elite Smash are now exclusive to this mode.
        • Rollback Netcode has been implemented into Ranked Play to give serious competitors a smoother online experience. Rollback Netcode will be added to Quickplay at a later date.
    • Masahiro Sakurai will personally travel to the home of all players that exclusively host arenas with items on and kiss them on the lips.
    • In the event of a disconnection during a match, the game will only penalize the player with the dropped connection.
    • An opponent's connection and the ruleset for the match will be displayed on the Online Practice Stage when matched up. A prompt will pop up asking the player to manually accept the match. Players can refuse if they do not want to play said match, to which the game will match them with someone else.
    • Players can now changes stages and fighters in Battle Arenas without leaving to the back of the line.
    • If a rematch is declined, all players involved are prohibited from randomly rematching for a certain amount of time.

Template:UpdateList (SSBU)/14.0.0[edit]

{{#switch: Universal |Mario=

  • Buff The hitboxes for up tilt activate sooner (Frame 5 → 4) with total duration exented as a result. This should remove a blind spot at low percents.
  • Buff The hitboxes of Up smash last longer (Frame 9-12 → 9-13), with head intangibility extended along with it.
  • Buff The second hit of floor attack (front) has a larger hitbox to cover Mario's hand.
  • Buff The animaton of Fireball has been shortened (63 frames → 55), with the interruption moved up to compensate (FAF 50 → 42).
  • Buff Mario Finale now instantly kills everyone on screen.

|Donkey Kong=

  • Bug fix Fixed a modeling issue where Donkey Kong's fur sometimes clips through his mouth during certain animations.
  • Buff Hitboxes have been added to Donkey Kong's hands during the wind up of up smash to remove a blind spot.
  • Buff Two small hitboxes have been placed around Donkey Kong's knees during neutral aerial, improving its range and removing a blind spot.
  • Buff Mhhhhh.... Monke.
  • Buff The hitboxes of up aerial last longer (Frame 6-10 → 6-12) with the final frame being a single weak hitbox. Intangibility frames are adjusted to compensate.
  • Buff Pummel can now be interrupted sooner (FAF 8 → 7).
  • Giant Punch:
    • Buff Fully charged version deals more damage (28% → 30%).
    • Buff The super armor now activates sooner (Frame 15 → 12) with total duration extended as a result.
  • Nerf Donkey Kong now instantly loses at the selection screen.

|Link=

  • Nerf Passive shield now is only active while standing still or crouching.
  • Buff Forward tilt has slightly increased range.
  • Buff Up tilt has slightly increased range.
  • Buff Down tilt has slightly increased range.
  • Nerf Master Sword and boomerang now break after repeated use.
  • Buff Dash attack can be interrupted sooner (FAF 57 → 50).
  • Buff The sword beam that automatically fires when forward smash is used while at 0% deals more damage and knockback.
  • Change Uncharged Bow and Arrows travels less distance.
    • Buff This allows arrows to be picked up easier for double arrow shots.
  • Spin Attack
    • Nerf Takes slightly longer to fully charge the grounded version.
    • Buff The fully charged grounded version activates a field of lightning around Link, similar to Urbosa's fury.
    • Buff All hitboxes of the aerial version have slightly more range.
  • Change Link now speaks full sentences.
    • Bug introduced Doing so immediately crashes the game.

|Samus=

  • Buff Weight has been increased (108 → 115).
  • Buff Falling speed has been increased (1.33(regular)/2.128(fast) → 1.5/2.6).
  • Buff Total forward roll frames have been decreased (34(fresh)/45(stale) → 31/41).
  • Buff Total back roll frames have been decreased (39(fresh)59(stale) → 36/54).
  • Neutral Attack:
    • Buff Hit 1 has slightly more hitstun
    • Buff Hit 1 now has fixed knockback, mitigating opponents falling out at high percents.
  • Nerf Samus now freezes and has a traumatic flashback when fighting Ridley. Samus only becomes playable after Adam tells her to snap out of it.
  • Change Bombs are no longer effected by gravity and hover stationary after deployment.
    • Buff This makes bombs easier to use as traps and makes bomb hopping easier.
  • Buff Aerial Screw Attack has more horizontal drift.
  • Change quickly flicking the control stick down twice will make Samus assume her Morph Ball form. While in this form, move speed is slightly faster and the hurtbox is much smaller, but Samus can only move horizontally, do a single jump and use Bomb. Getting hit or flicking up on the control stick twice will cancel the form and return Samus to normal.

|Dark Samus=

  • Change Dark Samus has a new animation while carrying a heavy item that involves her slowly hovering and her feet dragging on the ground.
  • Neutral Attack:
    • Buff Hit 1 has slightly more hitstun
    • Buff Hit 1 now has fixed knockback, mitigating opponents falling out at high percents.
  • Change Dark Samus has a new neutral special titled "Scattershot." After charging, several small projectiles shoot out of the arm cannon in a wide vertical range.
    • Buff This move has much more vertical range then Charge Shot and can lock opponents in the air.
    • Nerf This move has much less horizontal range then Charge Shot and deals less damage overall unless fired point blank.
  • Buff Aerial Screw Attack has more horizontal drift.
  • Buff Dark Samus has seen the ancients texts known through whispers as "Horny Samus" and has taken them to heart.
  • Change Dark Samus has a new down special titled "Undetectable." Dark Samus turns invisible for several seconds before becoming visible again. This move has a long cooldown before it can be used again.
    • Buff This move greatly improves mixup options due to the opponent not being able to see Dark Samus.
    • Nerf This move is not an actual attack and deals no damage on its own.

|Yoshi=

  • Change Yoshi has a new taunt where he offers his opponent a large wad of cash. He swears it is a perfectly legal donation.
  • Nerf Shield drop lag has been increased (11 frames → 15).
  • Buff Neutral attack can now be jab canceled.
  • Buff The furthest hitbox of up tilt has been extended outward to cover the entirety of Yoshi's tail.
  • Buff All versions of grab have a faster startup (Frame 14(standing)/16(dash)/17(pivot) → 12/14/15).
  • Buff The armor present on Yoshi's double jump now stays after using an action, with the armor being cumulative until resetting by landing.
  • Buff Forward smash has a faster startup (Frame 14 → 12), while moving up the intangibility frames (Frame 12 → 10) to compensate.
  • Buff The startup of Egg Roll before accelerating has been shortened.
  • Buff The thrown eggs of Egg Throw now last longer before exploding.
  • Change Yoshi's voice has been pitched down to sound like a human.
    • Buff This makes Yoshi sound even more stoned than he already does.

|Kirby=

  • Buff Running speed has been increased (1.727 → 1.845)
  • Buff Air speed has been greatly increased (0.84 → 1.23).
  • Buff Standing and dashing grab now have bigger hitboxes.
  • Inhale:
    • Buff The outermost hitbox has been extended outwards, improving it's range.
    • Buff The move is now treated as a grab, meaning shielding opponents will still be inhaled if close enough.
    • Buff Kirby will now fit his mouth over Donkey Kong, Bowser, Ridley, and King K. Rool, but will not swallow them and instead control them like a puppet with the new Mouthful Mode.
  • Stone:
    • Buff The landing hitboxes have been enlarged.
    • Buff Opponents can no longer grab Kirby out of Stone.
    • Buff The move cancel animation has been significantly shortened.

|Fox=

  • Change Playing as Fox now collects your personal data. It is called the Your Info For Fox data plan.
  • Buff Forward smash has a slightly larger hitbox on the foot.
  • Buff The late hit of up smash now lasts longer (Frames 10-11 → 10-12).
  • Buff A weak scooping hitbox has been added to Fox's lowest foot during forward aerial to catch grounded opponents while short hopping.
  • Buff Back aerial now has a faster startup (Frame 9 → 8).
  • Buff Grab has been given slightly more range.
  • Change The blaster fire of up throw and back throw can be canceled into another action. This results in reduced damage and hitstun from the throw itself, but allows Fox to tech chase sooner and can act as a mixup opportunity.
  • Buff The window to activate another Blaster has been slightly increased, mitigating the event of accidentally dropping it by being slightly too slow.

|Pikachu=

  • Nerf All hurtboxes are briefly extended upwards when landing on a platform to mitigate the effect of pancaking.
  • Nerf The final hit of down smash has significantly less knockback scaling (192 → 170).
  • Nerf Hit 4 of neutral aerial has less knockback scaling (140 → 125).
  • Nerf The final hit of forward aerial has less knockback scaling (154 → 130).
  • Nerf Hit 6 of back aerial has less knockback scaling (160 → 133).
  • Buff Edge attack has slightly more range.
  • Buff All attacks are now fully invincible.
  • Buff The clean hit of Skull Bash has been given a larger hitbox and shifted forward to cover the ears.
  • Change Upon touching a Thunderstone, Pikachu will transform into Raichu.

|Luigi=

  • Change Luigi can stand on water for a few seconds before entering a swimming state.
  • Change Luigi can now wall jump.
  • Buff Luigi Time!
  • Buff Down tilt has less knockback at low percents, allowing it to more reliably connect into itself.
  • Buff The head hitbox of up smash has been extended outward to match the visual effect.
  • Buff The clean hitbox of short hop up aerial activates sooner with the total duration not compensated (Frame 8 → 7).
  • Grab:
    • Buff The plunger projectile of Grab aerial does not disappear until it comes in contact with an opponent, a platform, or a blast zone.
    • Bug fix The move now properly scales with time changes.
  • Buff The animation for Fireball has been shortened (54 frames → 50), with the interruption moved up to compensate (FAF 44 → 40).
  • Change The sweet spot of aerial Super Jump Punch has been shifted slightly upwards.

|Ness=

  • Change In the situation where forward smash triggers Finish Zoom, a stylized "SMAAAASH!!" effect will appear above the fighter.
  • Buff Attacking Ness is now considered child abuse and all opponents will go to jail.
  • Nerf Every time Ness is used online, the international release of Mother 3 is delayed by a day.
  • PK Flash:
    • Change Holding up makes the projectile fall slower.
    • Change Holding down maskes the projectile fall faster.
  • PK Fire:
    • Nerf The burst lasts significantly less time (Frames 1-100 → 1-60), requiring much more precision to combo the move into itself.
  • PK Thunder:
    • Nerf The thunder ball now lasts less time before disappearing.
    • Nerf Knockback on the thunder tail has been reduced.
  • PSI Magnet:
    • Buff The intial hit box is bigger.
    • Buff The initial hit has less knocback, allowing Ness to follow up easier.

|Captain Falcon=

  • Initial dash pivot:
    • Buff Captain Falcon no longer slides backwards before turning around.
    • Change The animation has been shortened to match the rest of the cast.
  • Buff Rapid Jab finisher deals more damage (3% → 3.5%).
  • Buff Down tilt has less startup (Frame 11 → 10).
  • Buff Captain Falcon finally pulls out his gun and smokes a bitch.
  • Buff The clean hit of up aerial activates sooner and lasts longer (Frames 7-10 → 6-10).
  • Buff Forward throw has less knockback (70 → 60).
  • Raptor Boost:
    • Buff The hitboxes of the grounded uppercut have been enlarged and extended upward to match the animation.
    • Buff The inert hitbox has been has been enlarged and pushed backwards to compensate to help with more consistent hit detection.
  • Buff Falcon Dive has slightly more horizontal range.
  • Change The crowd cheer is replaced with the crowd chanting "Da-ddy! Da-ddy!"

|Jigglypuff=

  • Change Upon being shield broken, Jigglypuff will make a "POP" sound like a balloon.
  • Buff Dash attack can be interrupted sooner (FAF 40 → 38).
  • Nerf The sweet spot of back aerial has less knockback (30 → 27).
  • Buff It takes less time to turn arond during Rollout.
  • Sing:
    • Buff The hitboxes have been replaced with versions that do not trigger counterattacks.
    • Nerf Puff's 5/10 singing voice has been replaced with the much more beautiful tornado siren tone.
  • Puff Up:
    • Buff Both hits now deal much more knockback (40(Hit 1)/60(Hit 2) → 65/85).
    • Buff All windbox attacks have more push
    • Buff The final pop before deflating sends out a shockwave that paralyzes opponents within range, then given weak knockback.

|Peach=

  • Bug fix Fixed a rare bug with Peach Parasol when self-destructing where the hitboxes of the move would be misplaced as well as respawning in a shadow form.
  • Buff Peach no longer has a void under her skirt. She now has bloomers from Brawl.
  • Change Peach is now affected by mood swings: Float longer while happy, on fire while angry, uncontrollabe with streams of tears while sad, and slightly more powerful while calm.
    • Nerf Women, amirite?
  • Up Tilt:
    • Buff The scooping hitbox has slightly more horizontal range.
    • Buff The heart hitbox last longer (Frames 9-13 → 9-14).
  • Buff The torso hitbox of neutral aerial is now much larger to more easily hit lower opponents.
  • Buff Aerial Peach Bomber can be interrupted sooner (FAF 88 → 80).

|Daisy=

  • Buff Daisy no longer has a void under her skirt. She is now going commando.
  • Up Tilt:
    • Buff The scooping hitbox has slightly more horizontal range.
    • Buff The heart hitbox last longer (Frames 9-13 → 9-14).
  • Dash Attack:
    • Nerf Daisy now performs a single hit, reducing its safety.
    • Buff This one hit now has increased damage (6% → 10%) and base knockback (50 → 70), making it more powerful.
  • Buff The torso hitbox of neutral aerial is now much larger to more easily hit lower opponents.
  • Buff Aerial Peach Bomber can be interrupted sooner (FAF 88 → 80).
  • Change Daisy now occasionally quacks.
  • Daisy Parasol:
    • Nerf No longer a multi-hit move. Opponents are only hit by one attack.
    • Buff All hits have increased damage (3%(Hit 1)/1%(Hit 2)/1%(Hit 3)/1%(Hit 4)/4%(Hit 5) → 9%(Hit 1)/7% (Hit 2-4)/10%(Hit 5)).
    • Buff Hit 1 has more horizontal knockback, improving its kill potential.
  • Vegetable:
    • Nerf Daisy now has a 0% chance of pulling a Bob-omb.
    • Buff Daisy now has a 1/250 chance of pulling a a Beam Sword.
  • Change Instead of restoring health, the daisies spawned by Daisy Blossom have a damage and knockback multiplier of 1.1x for 10 seconds. The multiplier stacks with each daisy, but each have their own timer.

|Bowser=

  • Change Costume 1 has been recolored to make his yellow skin sligtly more orange, his beige skin slightly more cream, and his green skin and shell slightly darker.
  • Buff Hit 1 of Neutral attack has a slightly bigger hitbox to cover the whole hand.
  • Change All hitboxes of neutral aerial have been consolidated into a three single hitboxes that covers the entirety of Bowser and lasts for different amount of active frames (Frames 8-14(hit 1)/15-21(hit 2)/22-29(hit 3)).
    • Nerf The move loses one potential hit as a result.
    • Buff All hits can now connect with each other more easily.
  • Buff The grab of Flying Slam has slightly more range.
  • Buff Tough Guy is now much more powerful. Bowser is now completely flinchless.

|Ice Climbers=

  • Change Nana now displays on the minimap if she is off-camera.
  • Change Nana no longer randomly jumps out of hitsun, increasing the chances of resyncing.
  • Bug fix Nana's artificial intelligence has been improved to no longer act wierdly while desynced on platforms or when an auto regrab spirit in applied.
  • Buff Down smash now has shockwave hitboxes.
  • Buff The hitboxes of forward aerial last longer (Frames 19-20 → 19-21).
  • Buff If an opponent is grabbed while the Ice Climbers are desynched, pummeling at exactly 200 BPM will cause the opponent to be pummeled indefinitely.