John

This article is about dishonorable Smash excuses. For the smasher, see John Padilla.

A john is an excuse for losing, missing a recovery, being hit by an attack, or any number of unfavorable events in Smash.

When a player makes a john, it is common for players around him to respond "no johns!" People commonly use this expression to encourage sportsmanlike conduct. In fact, H2YL's motto is "Good Stuff, No Johns."

Originating in Crystal City, Rob Money coined the term after his friend, John, who would always make excuses.

It is very dishonorable to make johns no matter what the situation was. Johns are generally frowned upon in the Smash community.

Examples of commonly used johns are:

• I haven't played in a long time.
• I am tired and sleepy and thusly am not playing well.
• I wasn't really playing seriously.
• My controller was faulty.
• I was playing with a character I'm not good with.
• My character was much lower on the tier list than you character.
• My partner kept killing me.

Examples of some not so commonly used and incredibly creative and funny johns:

• I got a 5-minute cold that came out of no where while I was playing and so was playing terribly while sick.
• Roy's Up-B is supposed to go higher than that.
• I was slathered in honey from a honey-fight earlier and so the swarm of bees attacking me was causing me to make mistakes.

Getting punched in the face, or having your controller unplugged, in the middle of a match can be considered a legitimate john.