John: Difference between revisions
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==Sportsmanship johns | |||
* I suck | |||
* You're much better than me | |||
* I should quit | |||
* I'm going to lose | |||
* You're too good | |||
==Self johns | |||
* I wasn't trying | |||
* I let you win | |||
* My fingers hurt | |||
* My hands are sweaty / greasy | |||
* My eyes hurt | |||
* I don't have my glasses | |||
* I'm tired | |||
* I've been drinking / smokin' the reefer | |||
* I'm hungry | |||
* I'm out of practice | |||
* I don't care | |||
* I don't own this game | |||
* I have a life | |||
* I'll win next time | |||
* I kept killing myself | |||
* I would win if I didn't SD so much | |||
* I'll whoop your ass at another game | |||
* I just started learning how to play | |||
* I'm just playing for fun | |||
* I don't money match | |||
* I need my name tag on | |||
* I was the wrong color | |||
* I hate this controller slot | |||
* I need music while I play | |||
* I was just sandbagging | |||
* I know I'm better than you | |||
==Foe johns | |||
* You suck | |||
* You need high-tier characters win | |||
* You have to counter-pick me to win | |||
* You play this game way too much | |||
* You play cheap | |||
* You hack / cheat / glitch | |||
* You're already warmed up | |||
* You play with better people | |||
* You take this too seriously | |||
==Insult johns | |||
* [expletive] you, you [expletive] | |||
* Your mother | |||
* My penis > yours | |||
* at least I have a girlfriend | |||
==Demographic johns | |||
* Can you stay out this late on a school night, kid? | |||
* Aren't you a little too old to play games? | |||
* Wow you're asian what chance did I have.. | |||
* Black people are inherently good at this game! | |||
* Spanish FTW apparently.. | |||
* Wow I got beat by a girl. | |||
==Hardware johns | |||
* The television is laggy | |||
* My controller is malfunctioning | |||
* I just got this controller | |||
* This isn't my controller | |||
* My controller is really old | |||
* I'm not used to this version of smash | |||
* It's not my gamecube / memory card | |||
==Gameplay johns | |||
* I hate this starting position | |||
* The level gayed me | |||
* The game glitched | |||
* The camera sucks on this level | |||
* Pause messed me up | |||
* Vibration is throwing me off | |||
* WTF just happened | |||
* How did you hit me? | |||
* How did I miss you? | |||
* Pitch a tent, camper | |||
* Spam some more | |||
* You only have one move | |||
* There's nothing I can do! | |||
* Stop running from me | |||
* Chainthrowing is gay | |||
* That's so broken | |||
* Wow that took no skill | |||
* You're so predictable! | |||
* I wish my character would do what I wanted | |||
* Whatever this isn't my main | |||
* Items are retarded | |||
* C-stick is cheap | |||
* How did I miss the ledge? | |||
* Where was my midair?! | |||
* ****it I saw that coming | |||
* I so teched that | |||
* This game is so stupid | |||
* * L R A Start * | |||
* * hits controller, ganks plug * | |||
==Level johns | |||
* Cloud denied me | |||
* Cloud saved you | |||
* Claptrap wrecked me | |||
* The barrel sucks | |||
* Moving levels are stupid | |||
* Wind screwed up my recovery | |||
* ... Poké Floats?! | |||
==Anomaly johns | |||
* Phantom hit.. | |||
* Get luckier with misfire / judgement hammer / turnip pull plz | |||
* Woah, random spike / invisible ceiling glitch | |||
* I fell through the level.. | |||
==Environment johns | |||
* Temperature is uncomfortable | |||
* Lighting is poor | |||
* Smell / noise is distracting | |||
* TV is too small | |||
* Poor angle of the TV | |||
* This seat sucks | |||
* Volume is too low | |||
==Tournament johns | |||
* If I had gone I would've won | |||
* Pools / brackets are rigged | |||
* Seeding sucked | |||
* Facility is small / crappy | |||
* Not enough TVs | |||
* Poor venue | |||
* House take is too much | |||
* Pot is too small | |||
* Entry fee is too small | |||
* Entry fee is too large | |||
* Too far away | |||
* Home region advantage :'( | |||
* Taking too long | |||
* I play worse at tournaments | |||
* I was too nervous | |||
* I got pulled over for having TVs in the back of my car.. | |||
==Tournament Organizer johns | |||
* We're having a door fee in addition to our take of the pot | |||
* We expected more people | |||
* Not enough cubes/tvs | |||
* People are slowing us down | |||
* The AC isn't working | |||
* No outside food | |||
* Stop yelling | |||
* Bawls? Cost $2.00 | |||
==Team johns | |||
* My partner sucked | |||
* Too chaotic | |||
* They targeted me | |||
* Partner jacked my stock | |||
* Friendly fire blows | |||
* Wow this level lags | |||
==FFA johns | |||
* I lost track of where I was | |||
* Omg team some more noobies | |||
* I can't edge guard! | |||
* I'm sorry I lost because I actually had balls and fought | |||
==Crew johns | |||
* You guys got lucky with the lineup | |||
* Too bad we rape you guys in everything else | |||
* We were missing some people | |||
==Forum johns | |||
* You're lucky you live far from me | |||
* I would wreck you IRL | |||
* You post like a 2 year old | |||
* You aren't funny | |||
* Learn some grammar | |||
* You don't know what you're talking about | |||
* I have more posts than you | |||
* I have more rep than you | |||
* My sign-up date is older | |||
* Use the search bar | |||
* TLDR | |||
==Meta johns | |||
* No johns |
Revision as of 23:20, November 10, 2007
- This article is about dishonorable Smash excuses. For the smasher, see John Padilla.
A John is an excuse for losing, missing a recovery, being hit by an attack, or any number of unfavorable events in Smash.
- A statement or action that detracts from the validity or quality of a competition (or its implied significance), irrespective of truth.
==Sportsmanship johns
- I suck
- You're much better than me
- I should quit
- I'm going to lose
- You're too good
==Self johns
- I wasn't trying
- I let you win
- My fingers hurt
- My hands are sweaty / greasy
- My eyes hurt
- I don't have my glasses
- I'm tired
- I've been drinking / smokin' the reefer
- I'm hungry
- I'm out of practice
- I don't care
- I don't own this game
- I have a life
- I'll win next time
- I kept killing myself
- I would win if I didn't SD so much
- I'll whoop your ass at another game
- I just started learning how to play
- I'm just playing for fun
- I don't money match
- I need my name tag on
- I was the wrong color
- I hate this controller slot
- I need music while I play
- I was just sandbagging
- I know I'm better than you
==Foe johns
- You suck
- You need high-tier characters win
- You have to counter-pick me to win
- You play this game way too much
- You play cheap
- You hack / cheat / glitch
- You're already warmed up
- You play with better people
- You take this too seriously
==Insult johns
- [expletive] you, you [expletive]
- Your mother
- My penis > yours
- at least I have a girlfriend
==Demographic johns
- Can you stay out this late on a school night, kid?
- Aren't you a little too old to play games?
- Wow you're asian what chance did I have..
- Black people are inherently good at this game!
- Spanish FTW apparently..
- Wow I got beat by a girl.
==Hardware johns
- The television is laggy
- My controller is malfunctioning
- I just got this controller
- This isn't my controller
- My controller is really old
- I'm not used to this version of smash
- It's not my gamecube / memory card
==Gameplay johns
- I hate this starting position
- The level gayed me
- The game glitched
- The camera sucks on this level
- Pause messed me up
- Vibration is throwing me off
- WTF just happened
- How did you hit me?
- How did I miss you?
- Pitch a tent, camper
- Spam some more
- You only have one move
- There's nothing I can do!
- Stop running from me
- Chainthrowing is gay
- That's so broken
- Wow that took no skill
- You're so predictable!
- I wish my character would do what I wanted
- Whatever this isn't my main
- Items are retarded
- C-stick is cheap
- How did I miss the ledge?
- Where was my midair?!
- ****it I saw that coming
- I so teched that
- This game is so stupid
- * L R A Start *
- * hits controller, ganks plug *
==Level johns
- Cloud denied me
- Cloud saved you
- Claptrap wrecked me
- The barrel sucks
- Moving levels are stupid
- Wind screwed up my recovery
- ... Poké Floats?!
==Anomaly johns
- Phantom hit..
- Get luckier with misfire / judgement hammer / turnip pull plz
- Woah, random spike / invisible ceiling glitch
- I fell through the level..
==Environment johns
- Temperature is uncomfortable
- Lighting is poor
- Smell / noise is distracting
- TV is too small
- Poor angle of the TV
- This seat sucks
- Volume is too low
==Tournament johns
- If I had gone I would've won
- Pools / brackets are rigged
- Seeding sucked
- Facility is small / crappy
- Not enough TVs
- Poor venue
- House take is too much
- Pot is too small
- Entry fee is too small
- Entry fee is too large
- Too far away
- Home region advantage :'(
- Taking too long
- I play worse at tournaments
- I was too nervous
- I got pulled over for having TVs in the back of my car..
==Tournament Organizer johns
- We're having a door fee in addition to our take of the pot
- We expected more people
- Not enough cubes/tvs
- People are slowing us down
- The AC isn't working
- No outside food
- Stop yelling
- Bawls? Cost $2.00
==Team johns
- My partner sucked
- Too chaotic
- They targeted me
- Partner jacked my stock
- Friendly fire blows
- Wow this level lags
==FFA johns
- I lost track of where I was
- Omg team some more noobies
- I can't edge guard!
- I'm sorry I lost because I actually had balls and fought
==Crew johns
- You guys got lucky with the lineup
- Too bad we rape you guys in everything else
- We were missing some people
==Forum johns
- You're lucky you live far from me
- I would wreck you IRL
- You post like a 2 year old
- You aren't funny
- Learn some grammar
- You don't know what you're talking about
- I have more posts than you
- I have more rep than you
- My sign-up date is older
- Use the search bar
- TLDR
==Meta johns
- No johns