Talk:Jump: Difference between revisions
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Change suggested by [[Special:Contributions/99.46.176.64|99.46.176.64]] 03:36, 7 July 2018 (EDT) | Change suggested by [[Special:Contributions/99.46.176.64|99.46.176.64]] 03:36, 7 July 2018 (EDT) | ||
:Oh, something else I forgot to mention: the "Also" isn't even needed. "Jumpsquat" isn't an alternate name, it's THE name. It's a name followed by a definition. Even so much as "Known as '''jumpsquat''', each character has a different window of time where they crouch before they jump." would be an improvement. [[Special:Contributions/99.46.176.64|99.46.176.64]] 03:47, 7 July 2018 (EDT) | |||
Revision as of 03:47, July 7, 2018
LETS GO GUYS !! THE JUMP HEIGHTS!!
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Suggested change
I don't want to start an edit war (my suggestion keeps getting reverted) so it's time to bring things to the discussion page. I don't think this sentence from the article is a very good sentence:
"Also known as jumpsquat, each character has a different window of time where they crouch before they jump."
Starting a sentence with an "also known as" phrase does not strike me as the best idea for a technical article such as an encyclopedia. In theory it could still be acceptable, but there is another factor in play: the name of the section is "Jump timing", but "jump timing" does not appear in the sentence "Also known as X, each character has Y." If "Jump timing" was Y, the sentence would flow perfectly, but it's not. If you start a section named Jump Timing, you create an expectation that Jump Timing will be the first thing to be talked about. The phrase "Also known as" dances around alternate names for the subject before eventually settling back on the issue of timing of jumps therein, which just seems sloppy when you could make the timing of the jumps the first thing to be taught in the section "Jump timing".
As such I propose the sentence at the beginning of Jump Timing section be changed to either "Each character has a different window of time where they crouch before they jump, known as jumpsquat." or "Each character has a jumpsquat, a window of time where they crouch before they jump." The former moves "window of time" to the start of the section named "Timing", while the latter names the term without putting "it's also known as something else" before the reader has even learned what they're supposed to be learning.
Change suggested by 99.46.176.64 03:36, 7 July 2018 (EDT)
- Oh, something else I forgot to mention: the "Also" isn't even needed. "Jumpsquat" isn't an alternate name, it's THE name. It's a name followed by a definition. Even so much as "Known as jumpsquat, each character has a different window of time where they crouch before they jump." would be an improvement. 99.46.176.64 03:47, 7 July 2018 (EDT)
